Tales from the veil

I’m not a wedding coordinator or an event planning expert.

But as a newlywed who just spent some 600 days preparing for my May wedding, I did experience all the hard work and planning that goes into the big day.

When I look back on my wedding day, certain images and moments immediately spring to mind. Other parts of the day are a blur.

My friends cautioned me when I got engaged in 2007: Don’t stress over the planning, they said. Enjoy the time leading up to and especially on your wedding day, they advised, because it will all go so fast.

I didn’t fully believe them.

Travis and I had been to enough weddings to know what we liked and didn’t. How hard could it to be to make those dreams a reality?

The truth is, my friends were right. It can be overwhelming. You can get stressed trying to keep all the different aspects of your wedding straight. Coordinating vendors to be in the right place at the right time can give you a headache. You’ll drive yourself crazy making and updating “to do” lists. You’ll give assignments to your groom. You’ll go over and over the day in your head.

Luckily, you don’t plan a wedding by yourself. I never would have made it through almost two years of planning without my mother, my sister and my bridesmaids. They accompanied me to bridal shows. They helped assemble our Save the Dates and invitations. They listened as Travis and I spent months mulling our first dance song and where to spend our honeymoon. They put together church programs and welcome baskets for the hotels.

And they did it all happily.

Thank your mom and your bridesmaids often. They are essential in helping ensure your wedding day lives up to your dreams. (Thank your groom, too, for keeping you sane as he assists with all the little details that, in reality, are probably more important to you than to him.)

I can tell you that all the planning is worth it. Our wedding was everything my husband and I imagined. We had an absolutely fantastic time. And as we celebrated, surrounded by family and friends, I knew that while all the time we spent on the details may not have been obvious to our guests, they made the day our own — a true reflection of us.

As one new bride to brides-to-be, here’s some advice to help you as you prepare for your own walk down the aisle:

Make the wedding your own.

Even before I got engaged, there was one thing I knew about my wedding day: I didn’t want a strapless gown. I envisioned myself in something completely different. So the minute I tried on my ivory gown from Pure Bliss in Newburyport, I knew it was the one. The all-lace gown with a V-neck top was perfect. Owner Jeanine Hines added the finishing touches — a champagne ribbon that tied around my waist and hung to the floor and a pearl broach at the bow.

Be sure to add your personal style and touches to all areas of your wedding. My husband and I are big baseball fans who met in graduate school in Boston during the 2004 Red Sox World Series run. Instead of favors, we made a donation to the Red Sox Foundation and gave our guests chocolate in the shape of baseball gloves. And as a former English major who loves to read, I added one of my favorite quotes from William Shakespeare to our programs.

Have fun with your wedding and your guests will, too.

Shortly after I got engaged, I started searching The Knot Web site for creative ideas. Some brides had ice cream bars, candy buffets or chocolate fountains at their receptions. But the photo booths I saw really caught my attention. Fashioned after the photo booths you find on beach boardwalks or in movie theaters, your guests are invited to step inside, close the curtain and pose for four photos.

The booth prints out two sets of prints. Guests place one strip of photos, along with a special message to the bride and groom, in a scrapbook that becomes a keepsake for the happy couple, and keep the second copy for themselves.

Our guests loved it. And the best part is we have the pictures to prove it. Travis and I love looking through our guest book and reading the messages. It gives us another special chronicle of our day.

Don’t stress about what you can’t control.

The morning of my wedding, I was at the hair salon when the bakery called about our cake. He apologized, but couldn’t find our order.

Thankfully, before I had a chance to totally panic, he called back to say the order had been found.

But the truth is, at that minute, there was nothing I could do to change anything about the day. It was here, and I just had to go with it.

My ceremony got started about 15 minutes late, after our limo arrived at the church to find an illegally parked car by the front door. Despite my insistence that he could let us off at the curb, the limo driver was determined to bring us to the front door, and had to do some fancy maneuvering to edge his way in.

Chances are, every detail won’t go perfectly no matter how well you plan. Any bride you ask will likely have similar stories to share.

Get organized.

I like to think of myself as a somewhat organized person. But I completely underestimated all the paperwork that comes with planning a wedding. First come brochures and business cards from the vendors. Then come contracts to sign, meetings to schedule, surveys and questionnaires to fill out and payment deadlines to keep track of. Buy one of those big wedding planner books. It will help. Also, keep copies of all signed contracts with vendors, any checks you write, as well as receipts.

Enjoy the day.

A friend who got married a few weeks after me called three days before her wedding with some panic and fatigue in her voice. “I’m ready for the wedding to be here and all this to be over,” she said. “Is that how you felt?”

I reminded her what my friends had told me. Your wedding day will go by in a flash. You don’t want to wish it away. Remember, your day is about you and your groom. Don’t get bogged down by anything else. Your guests will have a good time. The food will be delicious. The music will be fun. And you and your brand-new husband will have lots of great memories to hold onto for a lifetime.