Gardeners prepare for annual rite of weeding

Apparently word has gotten around the yard that I'm soft on weeds.

Maybe the birds have been gossiping about my backyard "meadow." Maybe the wild rabbits have been telling their friends about the new clover in the lawn. Perhaps the dragonflies report seeing me sitting happily on a blanket with my baby, oblivious to the overgrown lawn, crabgrass sprouting in the vegetable garden and dandelions pushing the patio stones apart.

Whatever the reason, the weeds in my front yard flower beds have decided to throw a party and invite all their friends. I've never seen anything like it.

The pavers that lead to my hose spigot were swallowed whole, seemingly overnight, by rainforest-like greenery.

Crabgrass is flourishing everywhere, in places that defy reason. It's growing in pure mulch. It's even growing in the inch of bark mulch covering a plastic stump in one of my flower beds, with no soil whatsoever.

One of my daylilies is in a battle for its life with a clump of grass. They are so intertwined that I see no way of separating them without uprooting them both. If you didn't know what was going on, you would think I planted some sort of ornamental grass in the row of daylilies.

I didn't realize how bad it had gotten until I went out to mow the lawn the other night.

Weeding the flower beds is so far down my list of things to do that I told myself to ignore it. Better to focus on the vegetable garden rather than decorative things.

Yet the weeds were so incredible that I had to take a closer look. Once I looked I couldn't help myself. I pulled one weed, then two. Soon the bodies were piling up on the driveway.

I moved quickly, trying to outrun the voice in my head telling me I was running out of time to put up tomato cages, plant more green beans and water the vegetable garden.

I finished weeding one little flower garden and moved to the spigot path. I grabbed weeds by the fistful, pulling up clods of soil and not taking the time to shake them off.

It was useless. The weeds piled up, but I barely made a dent.

I forced myself to stand up, turn around and walk away.

So I now would like to officially confirm the rumors spreading around the yard. I will not be weeding with my usual vigilance this year.

Any weed that would like to take root, please note that there is now space available in the flower bed beside the driveway.

There may also be a few inches available along the path to the spigot, and there is a beautiful, as yet undeveloped space out back where last year's compost pile was situated. Act today. This space will not last.

Also, be warned that the following areas are already full beyond capacity: the strip between the sidewalk and the road, every other flower bed and, of course, the entire lawn.

Just don't even think about moving in to my vegetable garden. Vengeance will be swift and severe.